Tuesday, December 13, 2011

So-Called 'Already Move On'

Here I am. Called myself: 'already move on'.
No. I won't mention love today. My heart is still frozen.

I busied myself with writing, reading, and laughing. Unfortunately, I don't like television. But watching some movies make me feel better.

Chatting with many friends made ​​me not feel alone. And I tried to make peace with myself. But, far ... far away in my heart. there's a denial, I hit it hard, so it didn't come to the surface.

I am still sad, still hurting. still self-pity.
But I am just human.

“But who can remember pain, once it’s over? All that remains of it is a shadow, not in the mind even, in the flesh. Pain marks you, but too deep to see. Out of sight, out of mind.”
― Margaret Atwood, The Handmaid's Tale

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Saturday, November 26, 2011

Don't Flirt Me

He said, I've got a nice smile. He asked if I had a boyfriend.

I was silent, reluctant to answer. I changed the subject so that we are only talking about funny topics. But his attention could not be diverted. He asked me again: do you have a boyfriend?

Then I replied: I recently ended a relationship. so please, it's a question that I'm most reluctant to answer. He said 'well, we talked about general things.

Few minutes later he suddenly said, 'would you be my wife and mother of my children?' I knew he was joking, so I laughed. But my mood was already disturbed.

Rona said, she is more respect to this kind of man. The man who knows what he wants. The man who would just say I love you, than people who say 'I THINK I love you.'

So do I. 

I would choose a man like that if he did exist. Which not only NATO, Not Action Talk Only. Not a wishy washy man, who hide behind the excuse faltered after he lied in the name of God. Not a man who looked like with my last boyfriend.

But my heart still hurt. I'm not concerned with love. For now I just want to enjoy this freedom without the selfishness of a man.

So please, do not flirt me.

pict from weheartit.com

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Monday, October 31, 2011

Why Oh Why

Why oh why! There's one thing people rarely noticed when holding a wedding party is: quality and quantity of the dish.

The wedding dish was supposed to be a major concern, food ranks first with a share of 30-40% of the total wedding cost. It's internationally accepted. Clothing and decorations may be simple, but the dish should be the best, you know. It would be the first topic of conversation after the party's over and people go home.

There are two wedding parties in this week that I attended, and the dish was disappointing and sloppy.


pict from here

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Saturday, October 29, 2011

The Truth Is...

She might not be thinking about you every second of the day,
but she gave you a part of her
that she knew you can break her heart.
So you shouldn't hurt her,
change her,
analyze her,
and didn't expect more than she could give.

pict from here

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Friday, October 28, 2011


I miss you
I miss your smile
And I still shed a tear
Every once in a while
And even though it's different now
You're still here somehow
My heart won't let you go
And I need you to know
I miss you

-Miley Cyrus, I Miss You-

somehow you still here...
pict from here

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Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Again and Again

Voila! I Just wanna share this video with you, guys.
This' from my favorite local band Andra & The Backbone, Lagi dan Lagi.
I recently listened to this song every day and every time I'm writing.

Aku memang salah
Aku memang hina
Maafkanlah untuk semua

Karna kau memang tak pantas
Tersakiti lagi dan lagi….
Karna kulewati batas
Melukai lagi dan lagi

Suddenly I think that there should be someone who told me this.
No hard feeling ya.... ;)

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Now Every Day

I miss the jokes, the laughter, the things we always share
pict from here

And then my soul saw you
and it kind of when
"Oh there you are. I've been looking for you"
But you said you didn't feel the same 
and make it a dream in vain.
Now every day I miss you
I fight back the urge
to text you or call you,
telling myself that if you wanted to talk to me,
you would

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Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Talk to Me

pict from here

Talk to me as before.
We can not keep quiet and hope that time will erase everything.
We already share the dreams and hopes.
Can we continue although it is no longer a unity?

I just hope we will be fine.
You're fine.
I'm fine.
Then life will bring us to happiness.
I just want you to be happy.

I only know one way, you do not want it.
but whatever you want, I'm here to pray.

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Friday, October 21, 2011

The Morning Talks

This is for you, Hazel Eyes, my old friend. Thank you for the conversation when you were driving and I was stuck in front of my lappy with badly mood all around my body this morning.

Thank you for listening to my unhappiness about that rumours. You said, "Hey I watched 'Hitam Putih Show' a few nights ago. There's a good quote from the show."
"What?" I asked.
"Just ignore all the bad news around you. Don't opponent and don't respond, because the law of sow-reap it's there."
"I thought so."
"Nah, you already know what to do. So just do it simply. Let it pass."

It's all just a simple conversation. But this morning when the drizzle made ​​me into a bad mood, I need someone who can talk to.

Talk. That's all I really need this morning. And voila! There he was...

So, I must say thanks again to you, mate. Thanks for the quote. Thanks for lending me your time to listen.

BTW, when we were in junior high school, you're not as wise as now. Is it the age-factor?

I'm lonely just like the bike.
pict from here

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Wednesday, October 19, 2011

So-Called Smart

After all of this, why I still love you?
pict from here

His friend told me that he thought I'm smart. He always said that I'm a smart girl.
"She's good at writing, she has extensive knowledge, she can assemble those wonderful words..."

Ah! Really? Is it true he considered me as great as it?
Geez! Look at me! It's him, playing game with my heart successfully, right?

Is it me, so-called smart girl?

Uhm, I don't think so.
Come on, man. You are the smart one :)

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Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Mister Hazel Eyes

An old friend called me this afternoon. Just say hello. How I miss his voice! He said all of a sudden remembered me today when he saw some of his friends were reading my Falling Eve blog in their office.

He thought 'Hey, that's Fatty's blog!'
Then he took his cellphone and called me.
Geez! He call me Fatty as a nickname ! Look at yourself, man. You are the fat one.
(But you're always handsome too! ahahaha)

I miss you, Mr. Hazel Eyes. I miss the days we used to be.

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Tuesday, October 11, 2011

The Old Friend

That afternoon I was amazed when reading the status of an old friend in YM. 'bidadari jatuh, aku rindu.' Fallen Angel, I miss you.

He was a young poet in Kalimantan, have long disappeared from cyberspace, and suddenly today he appears. Several years ago, we were good friends and often talk about literature and books. He's very idealistic, ambitious and diligent.

And he's adventurous. Truly adventurous.

Last year he was backpacking to Bulgaria alone and stay there for a month. Geez! I'm jealous as hell! I'm curious about the bulgarian after reading The Historian!

After his trip, he was always writing a book and published it by himself in his city. He had a small local publishing company in the city.

Next month, on December, he will go to Nederland, and next year on June, he invited me to go backpacking around Southeast Asia.

Oh oh! Just imagine the beautiful pagodas in Thailand and watching Miss Saigon opera in Vietnam! Kyaaaa, I want it! Hehehe... and of course, he is a fun travel mate because we both have interest in historical objects. It's like backpacking with my friend Ari in Jogja, or with Ridwan, my best friend in Cirebon.

I said insya Allah then. We still dunno what will happen until June, right?

Anyway thanks God... he didn't ask me 'do you miss me too?' Because I don't have an answer at all :)

pict from here

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Monday, October 10, 2011

I Feel Guilty

Oh dear, you make me feel guilty, you know! I told you: mean it now. Don't play around anymore. you said you were serious. But see now, what had happened.

Sorry if I kept my distance last days. I just don't like your friend insulted me. She interfered in our affairs that she didn't know. Even now I still don't like her. She's just a little girl who don't have manners.

But I still care about you, brotha. Still you are my little brotha. You can just make people think you're fake, and they may believe in your stupid charade. But I don't. I know you better than them. I thought, she didn't believe too. She was hurt by your ridiculous way.

I was thinking maybe you're really fake. Then I remembered the days of our friendship since many years ago. I would know if you're a fake. In fact I knew you're just a man who is too dependent on the love story of your life.

Last day she asked me why I didn't tell her more about you.
But what can I say other than just a reminder to be careful with her ​​feelings?

You're also my friend. Entrust a lot of things, many secrets to me. Trust me as your elder sister and I trust you too. I can't tell bad things about a friend to another friend so they hate each other. Anyway I'm not sure it will affects the two lovebirds who are madly in love. One thing that will happen is you both will hate me.

Today I'm worried about you. I know what you can do when you're upset. Keep your heart stays cool, please. Okay?

Just take care.
I just want you to know, I'm always here if you need someone to share.

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Saturday, October 8, 2011

The Broken Fairy Tale

One day I warned you, dear ... but you did not hear. At that time you were intoxicated by romance, desperately in love. I wrote about a friend, but wish you could take a lesson. But what happened was a misunderstanding and your friend intimidated me with cynical comments that made me upset.

Oh of course I'm not psychic. I'm just someone who is sometimes given a hunch about something. There are some feelings that often warns me of my own story and I ignored. Exactly I'm not God, nor a holy angel who is free from prejudices. But you must know, I care. I care about you with all my heart.

Then I move away, because I knew I was out of your circle. I can't interfere. I've warned you, though you didn't hear it. I thought I've done my duty as a friend.

Honestly, this is what I feared. 'Coz from the beginning I know you're fragile and easily swayed. In fact we're both the same, but no one ever warned me. Otherwise you got me, who sent a signal alert.

I care about both of you, dear. You two are my friends. You said you adore me, hey I adore you too.

I've warned him not to play, I've warned you to be careful. I could not do more than that. Because friendship makes me unable to open more bad things that I know.

Forgive me, okay ... I didn't think the story ends with that ridiculous way. At the time I should have grabbed your hand and force you to end your feelings. But who could be?

Oh I'm sad! So sad! I'm feeling guilty and so sorry why did you give up and choose to forget. Why didn't you investigate the truth, perhaps this is just a phase to understand each other better? Ah, but I didn't know the whole story and it's your choice.

By the way, I never hated you. Maybe I was just disappointed because you didn't listen to me. I probably don't want to add to misunderstandings and sarcastic comments on my blog.

Back as friend? you asked me that night.
No way. we're always be, right? :)


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Thursday, October 6, 2011


My cellphone rang. It was a confusing news. A frantic and confused person on the other side.
What can I do but gave my hand to her? Something must be done. clarified. Should be completed tomorrow.

Aah, it's good to feel useful again!

pict from here

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Tuesday, October 4, 2011

You Will Understand One Day

: you

You lose your sleep at nights
Morning sun refuses to rise
Your eyes get stuck at a point in the ceiling
A ringing starts in your ears, maddening
Neither the bed sheet understands, nor the pillow
The light you wait for does not enter through your windows
You turn to your bed and cry for your helplessness
The memory that you can't forget fills inside you
As if you took a deep breath from your cigarette
You will understand one day what it means to love
One thay, you will understand that everything is actually vain
Honor, virtue, goodness, beauty
A day comes when you hit your head to the cold stone walls
Just to hear that voice only once
The hurt and brokenness in your feelings grow and grow
You feel
Deep inside the pain of being desperate
You will understand one day what it means to love
One day, you will understand what your hands are for
What you were created for
Why you came to this disgusting world
You watch your beauty in the mirrors, with no hurry
And you feel the pain of those years that passed by in vain
Your eyes get wet, you feel grieved
You will understand one day what it means to love
One day, you will understand the taste of the loved lips
You will understand how out of reach the loved eyes are
When that totally unexpected time comes
You hair falls on your eyes, but white
Your hands try to reach the sky
But desperate
But tired
But exhausted
One day, you sleep towards the past
And the painful truths line up one after another
You will understand one day what it means to love
One day, you will understand to dream
To wait
To hope
Like a dirty shirt, you want to take off and throw away
The fearful night wrapping your hole body
You curse that you live
You tear apart and throw away whatever you have left from the past
Then, a flower grows on my grave, by itself

That day, you will understand that I love you


It was translated from a Turkish poem "Bir Gün Anlarsın", by Ümit Yaşar Oğuzcan. By the way, I adore the poems of Baba Ümit. It was as if he understood your heart's content and write it into a poem.

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Sunday, October 2, 2011

Growing Sorrow

Easy to say forget, tell me about it!
I can't forget, see I can't forget
There is something here, inside of me, that overwhelms me
Here right over my heart
There is something stay nailed
It is beyond my control, I can't take it out
My eyes are getting lost, with looking fars
Whoever I see, it looks like you some
It makes me remind you, that cloud, that sky
That sea beats the rocks
That sad melody, that 'napoliten' song
That sometimes we used to listen together

I think of you always, without a stop, without getting tired
However, days are not those days
Nights are not those nights
And its your yearning that remains only in the nights
I grow you inside of me, with thinking and thinking
Growing sorrow with you
New and new grieves I grow, unbearable
Dirty waters are passing through my narrows
A poison is mixing into my blood, do you understand me?
One more time I see you, I wish, one more time
For one day, even for one minute
Easy to say forget, tell me about it

I cant hold my tears, while I remember
You, over my tongue
You, inside of my head
Are you destiny, cradle? Who are you?
I can't forget, see I can't forget

-translate from a Turkish poem "Unutamiyorum (I Can't Forget)" by Ümit Yaşar Oğuzcan-


My friend Lita said she hated to see me behave like this. She said 'it's not u, a person I always adore. Enough to mourn. You deserve better.' I know. I also hate the way I am. But it doesn't mean I didn't try. This is me. Writing. Recovering.

My sadness wasn't just because of one thing, but the accumulation of many things. Those made me arrive at the point of hating myself.

These people .... why do they always see me from a worldly point of view, from the standpoint that they want? Why do they never look deep into my heart, because that is where I really was?

I was supposed to be a stone
drowned in the pond
observe the world from darkness
between water, algae and plankton in the surface
Being stone
As simple as that

Thank you, Lita dear. Don't worry about me. I just need a little more time to convince myself that this wasn't my fault...

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Thursday, September 29, 2011

On My Lonely Mind

I miss you... 
It's hard to forget when there is such an empty space on my lonely mind.
Maybe you're tryna forget me. But I'm sorry, I can't fight this feeling....

pict from here

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Monday, September 19, 2011


Again and again, however we know the landscape of love
and the little churchyard there, with its sorrowing names,
and the frighteningly silent abyss into which the others
fall: again and again the two of us walk out together
under the ancient trees, lie down again and again
among the flowers, face to face with the sky.

-Rainer Maria Rilke-

Now after that afternoon. Under the shadow of the temple and ancient trees, when I saw you sat near me, refrained from leaning on your back... I'm afraid of loosing you.

pict from here

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Friday, September 16, 2011


Finally, we united our dreams. Dunno when it will become real. But insya Allah, every miracle and fortune came from a dream. Right?

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Tuesday, August 23, 2011

The Five Years of Writing

During five years of writing on the blog, I found many things that have colored my life with fun. Why do I say fun? Because I think of anything in cyberspace that amuse me.

I am not a teenager or a half adult bloggers who give a damn on things that try to disrupt the preoccupations of my writing. Well, I write because this is my life. To write, I'm alive. To live, I'm writing.

Sometimes, there are people who cynically commented on my blog. I am not against criticism if it is in the form of criticism. But it seems that many people who abuse the notion of criticism as a reproach. Well, go ahead insult me, so what d'you want me to do?
I only ask for civility on my blog. Because a blog is similar to home. Just as in the neighboring country's embassy are protected by law in that country.

Do they really understand the etiquette of blogging before becoming a blogger? And as human, do they really understand the ethics of decency? Is it true they have a blog because they want to write? Or just want to find a sensation?

There are so many misunderstandings in this world, huh? And very many things that are not necessary, thrown on the people who didntt even really know you. Sometimes make annoyed, sometimes raise a laugh, sometimes make our day so interesting. That's life.

I know that sometimes my writing makes people curious. Many blogger friends of mine asked, "Is this a true story?" and I will tell them that it is real if it is real, it's fiction if it is fiction.

Oh by the way, this blog is still under construction!
FYUH! ^^

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Our Summer Days

"It's not the face, but the expressions on it. It's not the voice, but what you say. It's not how you look in that body, but the thing you do with it. You are beautiful."

— Stephenie Meyer, The Host-

"That's what the girl friends are for, right?" I asked.
He laughed. "Yes. But for others,  too."
"Such as?"
He paused. Laughter again. "To teach cooking and helping me compile a shopping list, right? Hahaha ... yes, okay...I'm not romantic."
My turn to laugh.

That's one episode of our summer days ^^

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Saturday, August 20, 2011

Still Waiting

Even more, I had never meant to love him. One thing I truely knew - in the pit of my stomach, in the center of my bones, knew it from the crown of my head to the soles of my feet, knew it deep in my empty chest - was how love grave someone the power to break you. I'd been broken beyond repair.

-Bella Swan, New Moon-

The truth is I still could not believe him totally. He would be sad to know this, but will also understand. I gave him time to prove what he said to me a few days ago, that he made ​​me a destination, not just an option.

"I'll prove it to you," He said at the time. "I have and I can."

That's the promise of a man. There's honor and dignity in the promise of a man. If it turns out he did not keep it, I don't know what kind of man he is. Maybe just a jerk as a person I've ever known, who've promised me too, then left.

I love him accidentally. It just came to me, like a meteor across the dark sky. I still don't know our future. Currently I can only wait for him to prove the promise.

"I'm in love with you." He, the man who is not romantic, said it.

Well. I love you too, stupid boy. Do not ask me how do you prove you've kept your promise. I know the answer. But later, when the time comes, you will know it.

Love will find the way :)

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Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Dirt Gear

You will never understand the feeling of being someone among you and your obsession. It feels like dirt gear, ready to gouge out and vomited.

You're standing there with two feet in two places. There and here. Still pay attention and expect your obsession, but also pay attention to me and probably expecting something about me.

I couldn't follow your way before you make sure that you're just expecting me. I couldn't understand why we must live it slowly, if the situation is complicated and potentially hurt me.
It will be running as it is when there are only two parties, not three.

Did you say I'm too good to be true? I don't think so. Who do you think I am?
All I know is that I'm just an ordinary woman who falls in love with you...

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Thursday, July 28, 2011

Hey Shik-ah!

It's been long time I didn't write about Yoo Ah-in, huh? Yes, Yoo Ah-in, that handsome guy which is similar face to my school friend xixixi ...

He is very-very different from Indonesian actors which the same age as him. I do not mean to denigrate young Indonesian actors or whatever. But of all the writings, interviews, coverage, news and anything that spread in the real world and cyberspace, Yoo Ah-in is not the kind of celebrities who dazzled by the glamorous life.

Just read his writings on twitter. He has a talent for writing, I thought (as an editor). And a wise way of thinking, beyond his age and his babyface.

Beyond all that, Yoo Ah-in always reminds me of Abe, my school friend who is missing somewhere. Makes me miss my teenager days long time ago.

Hey Shik-ah, thanks for remind me of my school years! Success for you. I love you. Hahaha...

PS: Yoo Ah-in's real name is Uhm Hong-shik. So, I call him Shik-ah ^^

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Monday, July 25, 2011


Yay! I'm quite satisfied with this blog now. After two nights I was renovating, I decided to use this template. Thanks to Mary Chee, who made ​​this cool template! I modified again with my personal tastes and widgets.

It seems, after struggling with complicated codes this week, browse the websites of tutorials and templates provider, I began to envy the teenage girls of today. Some cool template that I found on the internet are made ​​in them! You know, the templates which pretty, girly and simple but beautiful views as this template. Those are created by teenager girls ! OMG! I spent my adolescence by reading a book and grow into an anti-social nerd! LOL.

Since make a friend with Ari, who is very cool in the IT field (of course he's a director in the Japanese IT firms!), I like tinkering with html code. Ari taught me to learn by myself. He just give tips, then said : just looking on the internet! Many of the tutorials there!

Sometimes disappointing, eh? Hehehe.

But then, I was a fast learner. For each nice widget or decorations blog on another blog, I immediately find a way on the internet. It makes me creative.

Until now, if I was yelling at him for help related to the blog or internet, Ari didn't immediately reply me. He let me in confusion and eventually found my own way.

"Yes, I know you can surely find a way. I know you're my smart friend. So I said nothing." He said when I told him that I already have a solution.

So I do the same when my friends ask about how difficult replacing or changing something on their blogs. As far as I have shown that the accessory is (probably) right on the blog, if you want to modify, please find the tutorial on the internet, darlings ^^

Improve your ability. Let's compete with the teenage girls, okay? Hehehehe ...

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Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Under Construction

Hey, the blog is under construction! Thanks to Lettha, her blog is full of cool tutorials and inspire me.

I've been wanting to learn template coding, and it actually started since I know about blogging in 2006. At that time, blogger.com was still wearing classic template.

Hohoho! I remember when all day I was fiddling with html code as I do not know how to put my blogger friends' links. Hihihihi ...

Therefore now I am not so blind about html coding. Wiiih! I want to be able to make
template base code! Haaaa! Let's learn! Ganbatte!

So guys, sorry for any inconvenience while this blog was renovated. 

Hell yeah! ^^

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Wednesday, July 6, 2011


Hey you! I've burned the cabin. Everything is gone overnight. If you think I was doing it while crying, you're wrong. Big big wrong. I didn't intend to cry over loser like you.

Oh, you don't like being called a loser? But that's you, darling. You left without a word.  Go quietly like a thief.

You know what, I do not even mind if we split up. But not with the way you did. You didn't think I am a HUMAN who deserve a good talk.

That's why I'm angry. I don't know how long I can forgive you. Wait till I saw you fall again. Yes. I curse you. I curse you feel what I feel now. As it turns out that your pain experience was not make you appreciate the feelings of others.

You think my heart was made ​​of stone, eh?

Yes Leonard, I'll keep writing about the pain that you gave me. Here, or in my other house. Why should I care if you become embarrassed? It was not me who embarrass you. You're the one who did it.

Farewell, darling. Just leave the cabin to ashes. As our story, a cheap soap opera that you created once upon a time.

Aeternum vale. Farewell forever.


Friday, June 17, 2011

Jakarta Great Sale!

I had to bite my finger, because I was not in Jakarta today, while Jakarta Great Sale Festival 2011 was opened! This event was held for one month, from June 17 - July 17 2011 in 68 malls in Jakarta. Aaaaarrrghh!

It doesn't mean I want to spend my money to shop, but it will definitely very exciting when window shopping from mall to mall with red papers fluttered above my head: "Sale 50%" or "70% Off". Hehehe...

Last year, I also missed the festival. But in previous years, when I was one of the working class there, I always participate. Participate? Hehehe ... not as a seller, but buyers. Um, exactly I'm a rioter. Because my presence was more as an observer alias window shopper. Oops! Hahaha...

If I were shopping, what did I buy? At most, accessories, jeans and tshirts. I rarely buy bags or shoes that do not need. Where should I store? My boarding room was not too narrow laaah, but sometimes I have to move out. Geez, I reluctantly have to move with a lot of stuff!

Back to the topic, Jakarta Great Sale 2011. This event has become a tradition to celebrate the anniversary of Jakarta. I remembered, three years ago my boarding mate, Butet Simanjuntak who loves shoes very much took me around Pasar Baru to buy shoes! The price of shoes was so crazy! On regular days in Pasar Baru, there's a lot of sale. Can you imagine when the festival discounts was come?

That day, my friend became crazy and took home six pairs of shoes! (I only brought two pairs. ONLY???)

Aye, Jakarta Great Sale has come! Only watching from afar. Happy shopping!

pict from here

Thursday, June 2, 2011

I Forgive Park Shin-hye

Once I did not like this girl: Park Shin-hye (PSH). Why? Maybe I was jealous because people said she's Jang Geun-suk's girlfriend. Hehehe..

The second reason, some of her fans are annoying. They insult JGS' partners in his other films, for example, Moon Geun-young (Marry Stayed Out All Nights). Then there was a war of words between two camps of fans. But it's clear that the first start was from PSH's fans. They are the ones that fanatics on PSH, crazy about Boys Before Flowers drama and want JGS and PSH dating in the real world.

Oh c'mon... They're going out or not, what's the matters, guys?

Once I didn't like PSH, because she didn't try to mediate the dispute. Come on, girl. Just speak up, one or two sentences. I don't believe that she didn't know about the dispute. I know, she's not blind about the Internet. She has a Cyworld account (blog service in Korea). She has a twitter, which is updated regularly. She's got a facebook? Who knows. Clearly she was active in cyberspace.

She could give a statement on twitter or Cyworld to arbitrate the disputes by her plebeian fans.

My friend, an actress said, that busy people like them, do not have time to deal with trivial things like that.
Oh yeah? But it is her moral responsibility to remind the fans for being polite.

I was not an actress, but I'm a person who had many supporting friends for anything I do. When one day I was attacked and they wanted to strike back the offender, wanted to curse or hurt the perpetrator, I have a moral obligation to stop them.

Because it will become a boomerang for me. My name will go bad. People do not just hate my friends, but also hate me.

But ....
Now because the fans were no longer at war, my feeling to PSH was gonna be normal. No hate, but also not love.

But there's one person that I mark, have attitudes like PSH. Letting a friend to attacked me. Hiding in silence and pretend not to know anything.

Perhaps you secretly glad that it happened, eh?

Park Shin-hye

Thursday, May 26, 2011

The Same Pattern

Since I first knew him before, I knew immediately that he is someone who can not live without 'love'. Because he was living, breathing, moving, and do many things for the sake of love. For love, he plans his future. Without love, he's just a zombie.

He spent a lot of energy to love. For the person who was his beloved. He drowned in a sea of ​​love. His body was covered in the sentences of love that he spells every time. He could not see other things.

I think it is terrible and dangerous. I've asked him to think more logically and analytically. I said, nothing is eternal in this world. So is love. So is the feeling between the two lovers. There is always a possibility of it all is lost, destroyed overnight. It's just possibility when a mother kills her baby, or a father raping his daughter, or a child killed his parents. You know there are cases like that, right?

He insisted. Rest of his life for love, love and love. Then I became a witness when the love destroy what he gained, overnight. Making his life starts from zero again.

Not. Not the love that makes him a loser. But he who push himself to be a loser.

Today he again set his life. Still the same as before. For the sake of love, after he discovered a new harbor. Gather more pieces by pieces of the plan for the future with the new love.

It's horrible to see him repeat the same pattern. Living for love, not for himself. He forgot himself. Forget that there is still much more important and worth things to fight for than his love for her woman. His life. His own life is more important. Because when we die, we're going alone, right? And we are alone to be held accountable for what we've done in the world by God.

As his friend I don't mean to nag, even though he seemed to think me so.

I just feel worried, and have poor intuition about this. It was fragile relationship. But some people who think I want to ruin their relationship mocking me smartass. Yeah well, it's up to you. You also don't know better than me and could only become cheerleaders.

Don't you know, a good friend is a friend who tried to warn for good.

A Christian friend of mine once sent this quote to me, some summary thoughts from Bible. Although we are not the same religion, but what is contained in the summary is universal. I save and remember it.

He said that love should not be selfish.

That is love that goes beyond personal interest and did not demand anything for his personal. So we're not easily frustrated when love is not reciprocated and not been satisfactorily addressed and do not bring contentment. In other words is unconditionally love.

Also not love just driven by the psychological impetus for the love and attention to each other. Nor was it love that is given to a profit for himself. And not a love that requires others to pay attention to himself so that his life is recognized as one who gives love.

Then about dreams. Ideals. Destination. I also had one thought for myself.

Ask yourself. 'To whom all this?' Do you want to fulfill that dream for the sake of getting acceptance from others or do it for yourself?

Your dreams do not need approval from others, this all relates to your life, not theirs. Pursuing a dream just for the reception can be seen from: You think about what is not acceptable to others? Did you make them happy, or you are happy?

Have a dream because you really want is something important and meaningful to your life. Indeed, acceptance of others is fun. But, if others (especially someone you love) do not approve the way of life you choose, do not let that deter you. Have the courage to be yourself and live a life that you deem appropriate, and not the life that is considered worthy by others.

I'm just a friend who care for him so much. With the risk he took me nag and the cheerleaders abuse me.

It's okay.

Friday, May 20, 2011

Indian Prayers

I just found this prayer in Nur's blog, my blogger friend in UK. She posted this prayer in Bahasa version. It's so amazing to know how beautiful this prayer.

Please read the Sioux prayer in English version below.

A Sioux Prayer
Translated by Chief Yellow Lark - 1887

Oh, Great Spirit, whose voice I hear in the winds
Whose breath gives life to the world, hear me
I come to you as one of your many children
I am small and weak
I need your strength and wisdom

May I walk in beauty
Make my eyes ever behold the red and purple sunset.
Make my hands respect the things you have made
And my ears sharp to your voice.
Make me wise so that I may know the things you have taught your children.

The lessons you have written in every leaf and rock
Make me strong--------!
Not to be superior to my brothers, but to fight my greatest enemy....myself

Make me ever ready to come to you with straight eyes,
So that when life fades as the fading sunset,
May my spirit come to you without shame.

And this, I found another Indian's prayer.

Oh our Mother the earth, Oh our Father the sky,
Your children are we, and with tired backs
We bring you the gifts you love.
Then weave for us a garment of brightness;

May the Warp be the white light of the morning,
May the weft be the red light of the evening,
May the fringes be the falling rain,
May the border be the standing rainbow.

Thus weave for us a garment of brightness,
That we may walk fittingly where birds sing,
That we may walk fittingly where grass is green,
Oh our Mother Earth, Oh our Father Sky.

And also this one....

My grandfather is the fire
My grandmother is the wind
The Earth is my mother
The Great Spirit is my father
The World stopped at my birth
and laid itself at my feet
And I shall swallow the Earth whole
when I die
and the Earth and I will be one
Hail The Great Spirit, my father
without him no one could exist
because there would be no will to live
Hail The Earth, my mother
without which no food could be grown
and so cause the will to live to starve
Hail the wind, my grandmother
for she brings loving, lifegiving rain
nourishing us as she nourishes our crops
Hail the fire, my grandfather
for the light, the warmth, the comfort he brings
without which we be animals, not men
Hail my parent and grandparents
without which
not I
nor you
nor anyone else
could have existed
Life gives life
which gives unto itself
a promise of new life
Hail the Great Spirit, The Earth, the wind, the fire
praise my parents loudly
for they are your parents, too
Oh, Great Spirit, giver of my life
please accept this humble offering of prayer
this offering of praise
this honest reverence of my love for you.

You'll find others here.

Some of prayers, poetry and folklores has been known since the 16th century, indicating that Indian tribes already had literary culture, though still in the form of oral literature.

Most of their folklore, myths and legends were in the form of fable, or about man and nature, is also associated with spirits. Because they believe that whoever dies will be a spirit. The spirits that could be a protector, or can also be evil and annoying.

You know, since childhood I like Indians. Every time I play 'the cowboys and the Indians' with my male friends, I always forced them to allow me to be Indian. Hahaha...

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Recommended K-dramas 2011

Some of my friends started asking about the latest Korean dramas. The problem is I have not had time to watch the latest dramas, and even a few series that I bought two months ago have not all seen.

But .... because I was the one who is kind, not arrogant and diligent saving my money in my piggy bank, so I devote my precious little time (hehehe) for your sakes, O my friends, to gather all information about the latest korean dramas which good to be enjoyed.

Well, before I become more hyperbole again, please check the list below and immediately go to your DVD seller to buy your subscription.

Remember, debt is prohibited! :P


49 Days

About a woman from a wealthy family Sin Ji-hyeon (played by Nam Gyu-ri), which will soon be married to her fiance (Bae So-bin), but a car accident made her a coma and escorted to the gate of death. Her spirit met her angel Yi Song-soo (Jung Il-woo), which collected the spirits of the dead. By Yi Song-soo, she was assisted back to real life with a borrowed body, Song Yi-kyeong (Lee Yo-won). In order to stay alive, she must have a sincere tears of 3 people who loved him (except his parents) within 49 days.
My friend Arman said this drama was good :)


Yoon Ji-hoon (played by Park Shin Yang), is a forensic doctor who handled several cases of murder. He was assisted by the Goo Da Kyung (played by Kim Ah Joong), but Da Kyung himself more interested to go to the field examined the evidence at the crime scene rather than dwell in the morgue and laboratory. Together, they solve the cases of death that often culminate in a murder case.

The Duo

This drama tells the story of two men who swapped at birth. Dong Chun (Chun Jung Myung) is actually the son of nobles, but spent his days as a slave. Unlike the Gwi Dong (Lee Sang Yoon) who became an aristocrat. Fate brought them to a girl named Dong Nyeo (Han Ji Hye), and fell in love with the same girl. From here the competition begins, until the time reveal the secret behind their life.

Romance Town

No Sungeum whose grandmother and mother were maids, thanks to her gambling addicted father, also becomes a maid in a townhouse on 'First Avenue' which is located in a rich neighborhood. She tries to cope with her sorrow and loneliness by joining a meeting called 'Six Parted Garlic' and shares her joys and sorrows with the other maids. She also copes by way of reading letters to the ex-maid, Yoo Chunjak, from the son of the owner, Gang Geonwoo, who studies in NY. It's the Saturday when Geonwoo finally returns. Sungeum comes back from a convenience store after buying a 5000 won lottery ticket and is then fired by Geonwoo who wants grandma chunjack back. Being kicked out of the townhouse, she shoves her hands into her coat pocket and finds the lottery ticket she bought previously. Much to her surprise, she discovers she won the 10,000,000,000 won lottery!


About Han Jung Won, a workaholic career woman. Because of his hard work, he was able to support themselves without the help of his family, even able to gather abundant wealth of his own publishing company. However, because of mistakes a person, his life upside down and he should bounce back.

Lie To Me

A romantic comedy about a woman in her mid 20s lying that she was forced into marriage and then thing that happen after that. Still upcoming in Korea, so we must wait for the DVD. If you're fans of Yoon Eun-hye, you should watch :)

New Tales of Gisaeng

Tells of the ups and downs of people who take shelter in the gisaeng house. The love story between Sa Ran, a poor girl who becomes gisaeng with Ah Da-mo, an arrogant rich man and belittle women.

Can You Hear My Heart

A human drama about a beautiful love story of a man and a woman who overcome acquired deafness.

Babyfaced Beauty

Are you fans of Jang Nara? You must watch this drama. This' about thirty three year old spinster, Soyoung, has an unbelievably young looking face! Most girls who are 33, they are either married or very successful in their field. However, all Soyoung has is a troublesome family, morass of poverty, a poor academic background and a baby face inherited from her dad. She, wanted to be a world famous designer, applied for the nation’s top reputed design school and got accepted. However, because of some complicated family matters, she has to give up on her dream school. Instead, she goes to a textile institute and graduate there at the top of her class. Moreover, her dexterity allows her to make simple clothes for herself. When economy worsened, she gets fired from a company she worked at for 13 years because of her age. Soyoung lies about her age to get a job at the top textile company! There, she meets Choi Jinwook who finds older women unattractive. Jinwook, not knowing Soyoung is 6 years older than him, is becoming fond of her.

Okay guys, enjoy the dramas! <(^ ^)>