The Truth Is...

She might not be thinking about you every second of the day,

but she gave you a part of her

that she knew you can break her heart.

So you shouldn't hurt her,

change her,

analyze her,

and didn't expect more than she could give.

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Still

I miss you

I miss your smile

And I still shed a tear

Every once in a while

And even though it's different now

You're still here somehow

My heart won't let you go

And I need you to know

I miss you

-Miley Cyrus, I Miss You-

somehow you still here...
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Again and Again

Voila! I Just wanna share this video with you, guys.
This' from my favorite local band Andra & The Backbone, Lagi dan Lagi.
I recently listened to this song every day and every time I'm writing.

Aku memang salah

Aku memang hina

Maafkanlah untuk semua

Karna kau memang tak pantas

Tersakiti lagi dan lagi….

Karna kulewati batas

Melukai lagi dan lagi

Suddenly I think that there should be someone who told me this.
No hard feeling ya.... ;)

Now Every Day

I miss the jokes, the laughter, the things we always share
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And then my soul saw you

and it kind of when

"Oh there you are. I've been looking for you"

But you said you didn't feel the same 

and make it a dream in vain.

Now every day I miss you

I fight back the urge

to text you or call you,

telling myself that if you wanted to talk to me,

you would

Talk to Me

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Talk to me as before.

We can not keep quiet and hope that time will erase everything.

We already share the dreams and hopes.

Can we continue although it is no longer a unity?

I just hope we will be fine.

You're fine.

I'm fine.

Then life will bring us to happiness.

I just want you to be happy.

I only know one way, you do not want it.

but whatever you want, I'm here to pray.

So-Called Smart

After all of this, why I still love you?
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His friend told me that he thought I'm smart. He always said that I'm a smart girl.
"She's good at writing, she has extensive knowledge, she can assemble those wonderful words..."

Ah! Really? Is it true he considered me as great as it?
Geez! Look at me! It's him, playing game with my heart successfully, right?

Is it me, so-called smart girl?

Uhm, I don't think so.
Come on, man. You are the smart one :)

You Will Understand One Day

: you

You lose your sleep at nights

Morning sun refuses to rise

Your eyes get stuck at a point in the ceiling

A ringing starts in your ears, maddening

Neither the bed sheet understands, nor the pillow

The light you wait for does not enter through your windows

You turn to your bed and cry for your helplessness

The memory that you can't forget fills inside you

As if you took a deep breath from your cigarette

You will understand one day what it means to love

One thay, you will understand that everything is actually vain

Honor, virtue, goodness, beauty

A day comes when you hit your head to the cold stone walls

Just to hear that voice only once

The hurt and brokenness in your feelings grow and grow

You feel

Deep inside the pain of being desperate

You will understand one day what it means to love

One day, you will understand what your hands are for

What you were created for

Why you came to this disgusting world

You watch your beauty in the mirrors, with no hurry

And you feel the pain of those years that passed by in vain

Your eyes get wet, you feel grieved

You will understand one day what it means to love

One day, you will understand the taste of the loved lips

You will understand how out of reach the loved eyes are

When that totally unexpected time comes

You hair falls on your eyes, but white

Your hands try to reach the sky

But desperate

But tired

But exhausted

One day, you sleep towards the past

And the painful truths line up one after another

You will understand one day what it means to love

One day, you will understand to dream

To wait

To hope

Like a dirty shirt, you want to take off and throw away

The fearful night wrapping your hole body

You curse that you live

You tear apart and throw away whatever you have left from the past

Then, a flower grows on my grave, by itself

That day, you will understand that I love you

............................

It was translated from a Turkish poem "Bir Gün Anlarsın", by Ümit Yaşar Oğuzcan. By the way, I adore the poems of Baba Ümit. It was as if he understood your heart's content and write it into a poem.


love,

On My Lonely Mind

I miss you... 
It's hard to forget when there is such an empty space on my lonely mind.
Maybe you're tryna forget me. But I'm sorry, I can't fight this feeling....

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Afraid

Again and again, however we know the landscape of love

and the little churchyard there, with its sorrowing names,

and the frighteningly silent abyss into which the others

fall: again and again the two of us walk out together

under the ancient trees, lie down again and again

among the flowers, face to face with the sky.

-Rainer Maria Rilke-

Now after that afternoon. Under the shadow of the temple and ancient trees, when I saw you sat near me, refrained from leaning on your back... I'm afraid of loosing you.

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Dreams

Finally, we united our dreams. Dunno when it will become real. But insya Allah, every miracle and fortune came from a dream. Right?

Our Summer Days

"It's not the face, but the expressions on it. It's not the voice, but what you say. It's not how you look in that body, but the thing you do with it. You are beautiful."

— Stephenie Meyer, The Host-

"That's what the girl friends are for, right?" I asked.
He laughed. "Yes. But for others,  too."
"Such as?"
He paused. Laughter again. "To teach cooking and helping me compile a shopping list, right? Hahaha ... yes, okay...I'm not romantic."
My turn to laugh.

That's one episode of our summer days ^^

Still Waiting

Even more, I had never meant to love him. One thing I truely knew - in the pit of my stomach, in the center of my bones, knew it from the crown of my head to the soles of my feet, knew it deep in my empty chest - was how love grave someone the power to break you. I'd been broken beyond repair.

-Bella Swan, New Moon-

The truth is I still could not believe him totally. He would be sad to know this, but will also understand. I gave him time to prove what he said to me a few days ago, that he made ​​me a destination, not just an option.

"I'll prove it to you," He said at the time. "I have and I can."

That's the promise of a man. There's honor and dignity in the promise of a man. If it turns out he did not keep it, I don't know what kind of man he is. Maybe just a jerk as a person I've ever known, who've promised me too, then left.

I love him accidentally. It just came to me, like a meteor across the dark sky. I still don't know our future. Currently I can only wait for him to prove the promise.

"I'm in love with you." He, the man who is not romantic, said it.

Well. I love you too, stupid boy. Do not ask me how do you prove you've kept your promise. I know the answer. But later, when the time comes, you will know it.

Love will find the way :)

Dirt Gear

You will never understand the feeling of being someone among you and your obsession. It feels like dirt gear, ready to gouge out and vomited.

You're standing there with two feet in two places. There and here. Still pay attention and expect your obsession, but also pay attention to me and probably expecting something about me.

I couldn't follow your way before you make sure that you're just expecting me. I couldn't understand why we must live it slowly, if the situation is complicated and potentially hurt me.
It will be running as it is when there are only two parties, not three.

Did you say I'm too good to be true? I don't think so. Who do you think I am?
All I know is that I'm just an ordinary woman who falls in love with you...